rejoicing in the hands

Devendra Banhart - The Body Breaks

The body breaks and the body is fine
I'm open to yours and I'm open to mine
The body aches and that ache takes it time
But you'll get over yours and I'll get over mine
And the sun will shine
And the moon will rise
The body calls
Yeah the body it calls out
It whispers at first but it ends with a shout
The body burns
Yeah the body burns strong
Until mine is with yours
Then mine will burn on
My flesh sings out
It sings come put me out
The body sways like the wind on a swing
A bridge through a hoop
Or a lake through a ring
The body stays and then the body moves on
And I'd really rather not dwell on when yours will be gone
But within the dark
There is a shine
One tiny spark
That's yours and mine

I'm in kind of a wonky mood right now.  I'm stressing out about my exam tomorrow in Early Brit Lit. *sigh*  I feel like I am not going to get an A in this class...which I guess is OK but I am really a perfectionist; however, ironically, my downfall is I am an extreme procrastinator. And then I don't focus. I drive myself crazy and it's my fault.  

Every time I wait until the last minute to do a paper it is only "OK"  (Usually B+ average on those).  My thoughts are jumbled and my arguments lack focus.  bleehhhhhhh  

Rote memorization is not one of my strong suits. Maybe if it was multiple choice, or matching, or something where I can see all of my options...but just taking lines from poems that don't even have names [!] and trying to identify [!]

White whine...

Plus I am sick.  Plus the weather is gloomy.  Plus it is almost 1 in the morning...

I just [...]

ee cummings

2 month check!

whoopsie, 2 months since i've last blogged here.  well, i can thank the summer for that ;)  i had a wonderful month off of school...which, coincidentally, started again last monday.  and i just checked and i only have like...2 (3-ish) classes until it is time to transfer!  time flies by so fast!  i thought i was going to be here forever -_- but seriously if i had gone back full time to begin with i could have transferred about a semester and a half ago...but the most important part i suppose is that i went back in the first place

i digress

summer is almost over. nooo!!!  i didn't finish any full stories, but i have so many new ideas for stories that i am keeping under wraps until it is time for me to write.  it feels so good ^_^

all of my favorite shows are almost back in season!  i gave up on Secret Life but have replaced it with an even more AMAZING show called 'the lying game'

the story is so interesting and the writing is NOTCHES above Secret Life. I am in love with whoever the wardrobe person is for this show. on the last episode, "Emma" (who is pretending to be her twin sister "Sutton") was wearing the most ADORABLE lace/eyelet shorts  - (middle outfit)

just lovely!

well...i hope it won't be another 2 months before i update this blog again. i have been busy keeping up with 2brokeLAgirls and trying to squeeze as much fun into my life as possible. it is so lovely to be happy :)

xo

blah-dy sunday

so i quit smoking again. for the third time. bleh. it is so annoying to go through this crankiness every time. i turn into such a raging B and i don't even want to be around myself.  i need to avoid any contact with anyone who is smoking because i have zero willpower.  if it wasn't for david not letting me steal his cigarette from him last night i would have already failed :(  so i guess that's good. *sigh*

i saw transformers 3 last night. *zzzzzzzzzzzzz* wish i could have that time and money back. of course i fell asleep, but not until after laughing at the first 30 minutes and the premise that JFK ordered the moon landing after we discovered autobots or decepticons or whatever on the moon. so stupid.

i have one of my "midterm" exams for one of my summer classes. i keep forgetting how much i hate preparing for these exams. i would rather have a multiple choice test, or if we could just answer one or two of these questions..but six.  and we have to have 6 - 12 pages typed up. wahhhh.  but then i guess i would be complaining about it if it were the other way around, so i guess i should just be grateful.

welp, this is 4th of july weekend. next weekend i might go to a craft open house, then the weekend after going out for one of my bff's birthday to a night club (i sound so old saying that), then the following weekend driving up the coast, and then finally the weekend after that is my birthday!  GOD WILLING!

xo

cooking and stuff

I am determined to break the recipe rut and try as many new things as possible now that I have the time.  I just discovered Rancho Gordo beans, and I am trying to convince David that we need to buy these beans.  Why?  Because everyone I know who has bought beans from RG swears that they have totally changed the way they cook. Pretty radical.  We've always wanted to transition from less meat more beans, and I think if we actually buy good beans instead of stale store beans, then we can actually do it.  I never thought I would write the word "beans" so many times in one blog post.

Next on my agenda in breaking my recipe rut is to grow my own herbs. I hate that the herbs I buy go to waste because I don't use too many fresh herbs in my recipes. I pretty much rely on the fresh veggies, olive oil, and a little bit of salt and a lot of pepper to flavor my meals. My favorite ingredient is garlic. This is weird, but I love the way my hands smell after I chop garlic. *snnnnnnnnnifffffff*  smells gooooood ;)

But anyway back to the garden - This blog entry was my motivation in wanting to plant my own herb garden. Even though she wanted to do stacked succulents, the inspiration came from none other than *drumroll* Martha Stewart. Gosh, she has an answer for everything, doesn't she!

Here are some recipes that look pretty yummy:
*Cannellini with Tomato & Sage
*Fresh Shell Bean Soup
*Tuscan Bean Soup

So, yep...I am all about the musical fruit right now. We'll see how this little project goes.

xo

new (old) poetry

Do you know what is really hard?  Tracking down authors, sometimes, that are featured in literary journals. I am in LOVE with this poem, and it's really rare that I find "new poetry" that catches my attention.  I was just going through some journals I'm considering submitting to, and stumbled across the poem which is now my favorite poem of the moment.  It's called "Lesson on the Letter S" by poet Jaimee Hills and it was published in Blackbird:

S is for sin. I knew what we were in for.
How could we exist without an exit?

He called me his apostrophe, a she, his little rib.
What soul? What self? I wanted to be singular.

In the beginning, there was light, but it was slight,
a soft wan-colored swan, a shallow lake to slake

our thirsty throats, an often hallow place. But a slow hiss
announced itself. The windswept willows wept.

At thirty, my possessive ex and I were fruitful,
peaking naked, multiplied our sex. But soon,

his low snaked tongue, in speaking, forked
our sour sons, our daughter and myself with words

of swords and I returned, both cursed and cured,
ears seared with newfound knowledge,

turned our laughter into slaughter.

-----------

I love it.  Too bad I can't email her to tell her [!]

-----------

Right now I am working on a short story that started as a journal exercise in my creative writing class. I just don't know how to end it. I've always had a problem with endings. I don't like my characters to stop moving. But I can't write out their whole lives I suppose.


If there is someone out there in the world who wants to help me, please let me know!  I am open to honest, constructive criticism. I'm a big girl. Sometimes.

NTS: Learn how to watermark in MS word.

ok, that's all I wanted to share for now. BYEEEE.

xo

you are an animal

I saw Jenny & Johnny tonight at the Music Box (Henry Fonda Theater). Of course they were AHHH-MAZING! My favorite performances were "The Next Messiah," "Big Wave," and "Silver Lining."  But all of the songs were really bumpin.  There have been a lot of upgrades/renovations since the last time I saw a show at the music box. There are little booths now on the GA Floor, lots of Hollywood Regency-meets Alice in Wonderland-meets black paint furnishings, and little embellishments here and there. Black glam shabby chic. I was a little nervous coming in because I asked my friend to smuggle in a flask since she brought a big purse, and the security was rifling through her purse so hardxcore I thought we were gonna get thrown out before ever stepping foot inside!  We're too old for that nonsense :P

Now I am home watching movies on my DVR I recorded from TCM, drinking some Coke Zero & Jack Daniels, and waiting for my homies to make their moves on Words with Friends. I am the ultimate dork.  But I don't care. This is how I roll on a Saturday night!

I have one week off before Hawaii, then summer school! I'm scared!

xo

school daze

i've got exactly one week of spring semester left as of today.  i have an A in every course, which is pretty cool. i just hope i don't screw something up like forget to do a review or turn something in on my portfolio. that would really blow.  i almost forgot to do a test online last night for my health class and luckily the teacher gives a ten minute grace period, so by the skin of my teeth i was able to squeeze out a C.  since i've done a lot of the extra credit assignments the C won't impact my grade at all.

today i got some paint samples and a can of black lacquer spray paint.  i am going to get some nice fabric maybe from joanns or maybe i'll even brave wal*mart some day if i ever feel like giving up everything i believe in lol.  there are so many activities i wanna try.

i have a stool that i am going to sand and paint the legs & replace the fabric:

then i am going to repaint this box and put some compartments in it, idk for what, maybe turn it into a sewing kit.  the box underneath it is also fabric and it has legs so it is a stool/storage thingy.  im going to repaint the legs and replace the fabric. i'm not sure what i'll put in it, maybe my snuggies so they will be out of the way:

and we got this big dresser from craigslist. it was really inexpensive, but it is painted white with an oil based paint. apparently it's really hard to paint over oil??  anyone know how to fix that?  not sure what color i want to paint it, but i'll take any suggestions.  i am so tired of a house full of brown!

so these will be summer projects that will most likely turn into fall projects. i love to procrastinate.

xo

back to school!

yes, no summer break for me!!! i will be in summer school monday through thursday, and then will be in school in the fall monday through thursday too, full time. wahhh!!! oh well, if i can get my math placement test in then by this fall i should be ready for transfer. that being said, i can get in absolutely ZERO time with a counselor.  WHYYYY is it so hard to get a counseling appointment at my school?!

this summer though one of my classes will be literature & film. it looks like we'll be discussing Less Than Zero, Fight Club, Heart of Darkness, No Country for Old Men, The Kill Off, & The Commitments. Sounds awesome!  besides that i'll have the same professor for both classes. i'm sure he'll get tired of me soon if he's not already...i've already had him a couple times for other lit classes. he's pretty cool.

all that being said, i cannot wait for HAWAII!!! it's about 3 weeks away. i have lost zero weight lol which is fine by me. i have been having fun.

speaking of fun, i went to disneyland yesterday with my girlfrans<3  i won a drawing for annual passholders to preview the new STAR TOURS ride. i have to say it was beyond amazing.

i had such a blast!  but my feet hurt oh so much. (nts: google "vibram five fingers")

i'm really tired but i have to pack for vegas. we're going to celebrate my mom's birthday slash baby shower. weird, i know. but it's all good. it will be fun.  we're staying tonight at the stateline. i've never done that before. we should be getting there around 1 a.m. or so, and who knows...maybe i'll be their next million dollar baby!

my mantra is forever now HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, with that many exclamation marks.

XO

jury duty

Right now I am at the Compton Courthouse in the juror waiting room, awaiting instructions as to whether I will be selected to go to a courtroom and be selected for jury duty or if I will be dismissed and go home. Either way, I don't really care. I'm supposed to be working on my essay for Hamlet, but I let every little thing distract me.

Even though I am on my own laptop, I am being blocked from Facebook and Twitter, which I don't think is fair :(

I'm listening to my music blasting full force in my headphones so I am unaware if my typing is getting on my neighbors' nerves, but in actuality I don't care :)

Sometimes it feels nice not to care.

currently listening to: elliott smith - st ides heaven

xo

repetition

i can't make anyone care.

On another note

I am really glad that this Rafe/Fake Rafe/Sami thing on Days of Our Lives is moving along as well as the Nicole/EJ/Taylor love triangle thing is moving forward. It was getting really stale and annoying!

I'm also glad that the 90210 plot is moving forward. I feel bad for Naomi, but Max never should have touched her paper. Now she might not be able to graduate! Ruh-rohhhh!!!

And Gossip Girl is becoming a bit *yawwwnnn* but I am looking forward to next Monday's episode. Let's see if they spice it up a little bit!!

By the way, I'm just a *little* obsessed with Ivy from 90210.  She's so pretty and I love the way they dress her on the show. She's so chill, which is what I thought Silver was going to be initially, but now she is turning into a little LA fashionista too instead of being more rocker/hippie/indie or whatever you want to call it. I love whoever does "Ivy's" makeup. It's always so fresh and not too fussy.

xo

another sunny day

I just got back into LA at about 6:50 this morning from a long weekend in Vegas. I had a great time even though there were some bumps along the road. But really, when are there not any bumps?  The sad part about the trip though is that I have no picture documentation to memorialize our adventures. I was so busy working that I forgot to take time out to show how much fun we were having.

David won $500 on the craps table!  I lost $40 playing slots...rather, make that $45 because while we were waiting for someone I stuck $5 in a Sex and the City slot machine and lost it in like 45 seconds.  World record.  I did learn how to play video roulette and I built up a substantial "pot" so I pulled my $20 out and used their money to keep playing other games, which I lost back anyway. It's ok. It was all good & fun.

We did get to go see Jabbawockeez show at Monte Carlo and it was AMAZING!

I'm starting to feel a little bit under the weather though. I'm not sure if it has to do with the dramatic drop in temperature between Saturday and Sunday in Vegas, then coming back to LA and it's even cooler.

xo

intro post

I first had the idea to start this blog about 5 years ago. It was going to be about weird crap celebrities do.

Then I got side tracked, got a new job, went back to school, got ANOTHER job, took more classes, worked other side jobs, started another blog, and my life just blew up and got ridiculously busy.
But I'm going to *attempt* to keep a blog, because I really love writing. And I would really like to journal personally and not try to relate to everyone all the time ;)
Besides, this way I get to use all the emoticons I want!
Anyway...here's the beginning. Yet another blog. For me.
xo